7 News Detroit Anchor Carolyn Clifford is taking a deep dive into domestic violence.
You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799 7233, text "START" to 88788 or chat on their website
It comes after doing weekly check-ins with local police chiefs, where we were told that domestic violence is still the No. 1 crime in just about every community.
Full coverage: Breaking Free - a deep dive into domestic violence
During the month of December with the holiday season and new year approaching, domestic violence calls go through the roof.
Related: Resources for domestic violence victims
As part of the series, we wanted to explore programs designed to rehabilitate abusers. One we found that is trusted by the court system in Detroit and sanctioned by the State of Michigan is called Redeemed. But it takes real commitment.
We went behind closed doors to lift the voices of the founder of this program, who was a victim and an abuser who discovered redemption.
Outside the doors of his childhood home, Jesse Hollins grew up around violence, pimps, prostitutes and angry men. Angry men who hit, with a mission to control the women around them.
"You saw a lot of men smack a woman in a minute if they opened their mouth? Things of that nature?" I asked.
"Definitely. "You soak that up this person is out of line, this person gets hit for being out of line, that must be OK," he said.
Instead of his fists, Jesse said he used crippling verbal attacks with threats of bodily harm against women, including two wives.
Almost 50% of women and men in America have experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
"I may have been abusive, definitely, but as far as violence, I didn’t beat up on women," he said.
He calls his behavior abuse. Yelling, screaming, calling women out of their name to get his way, or, because the pressure of daily life was too much from low income to problems with debt.
"You can’t cry, so what do you do? You explode, you get angry and you take it out on the people that you love because hurt people hurt people," he said.
That out-of-control behavior finally brought the police to his doorstep when his wife called 911.
"When they came to my house, I was like, 'I did not call you why are you here? And if you don’t have a warrant get off my porch,'" he said.
Fortunately, the Detroit police officer who confronted Jesse that night was able to calm him down, and he was led away in cuffs.
"I was in such an angry state that my mindset was, we can all get on the front page," he said.
Jesse was the kind of man Shari Ware grew up fearing. She grew up with deep dark secrets of domestic violence at the hands of her father.
Like her mom, she endured vicious verbal attacks and physical torture by her own husband and father of her two children.
"Never called the police on him. Never told any of my brothers or sisters," Shari said.
She, too, kept it secret.
"One day my mom said, 'it’s almost 100 degrees, why do you have that turtleneck on?'" she said.
Her long sleeves hid black and blue bruises, but a frightening scene would change her mindset.
"When I saw my son fly up to the ceiling of the house, slide down that kitchen wall, then I knew I had to do something different," Shari said.
With her sister’s help, she ran in the middle of the night. She and her children spent a year hiding out in a wine cellar underneath her sister’s home.
"I began to get the paper trail. I had pictures of the bruises and even had cracked ribs, so I had the hospital record," Shari said.
But instead of just focusing on her own healing, Shari says God led her to help the very men she was once petrified of.
"Because I had been so abused, I never got healing, you know. We didn’t see counselors or therapists. We were so poor we could not afford it," she said.
She would create a Michigan state-certified Battering Intervention Program in Detroit called Redeemed For Men.
"There is help for men who have chosen to use violence and abusive behaviors. They can’t unlearn it. They have to relearn they have to replace they have to rebuild," she said.
It’s 52 weeks long with four phases – Acknowledgement, Cornerstones, Challenge, and Sankofa – exploring why they are in the program, accountability, core beliefs of violence and looking at the past to move forward to a non-abusive lifestyle.
"What made you believe that you had the right to strangle her, to hit her, to cuss her out? We have to get to the root of the problem," she said.
Most men come through 36th District Court in Detroit.
"The curriculum we use is evidence-based and it’s a lot of cognitive behavior techniques that we use to get to that process," Shari said.
Programs to transform abusers first came on the scene in the 1970s. But some experts argue it does little to put a real dent in this epidemic, where one in four women and one in seven men in the U.S. been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner.
Shari says Redeemed For Men is working.
"How many lives have you changed?" I asked.
"More than I can count," she said.
Since starting in 2012, Shari says 90% of the men who complete Redeemed are not repeat offenders.
"It works if the men come in and really want to change their lives to better their families and the community," she said.
For Jesse, being locked up and being barred from his home changed his mindset.
"It’s a scary thing to find out your thought process," he said.
Jesse now counsels other men through the Redeemed Program.
"It'ss awesome to see the transformation," he said.
He's also grateful to Shari for not only giving men like himself a second chance, but for giving survivors of domestic violence hope.
"As long as I’m still standing I know that there is a whole line of women behind me that I can help, encourage to build up, to empower,r so they know they are still standing as well," he said.
The Redeemed program is by appointment only and you must call first. You can call 313-444-3142.
