(WXYZ) — For a lot of families, the countdown to a new school year comes with excitement, new routines and a few nerves.
See the full story in the video below
But for some children, those worries can become harder to manage, showing up as headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping or changes in behavior.
How can you tell the difference between normal first-day jitters and anxiety that may need more attention? I spoke with local parents and a psychologist about what to look out for.
Jace Wynn, 3, is heading to preschool this year. His great-grandmother, Carol Flemming, said they've been getting him ready with books, puzzles and time around other children.
He likes playing with kids. We found that out when he went to vacation Bible school," Flemming said.
But as families across metro Detroit get ready to head back, excitement isn't the only emotion. A 2023 Harris Poll for Nemours KidsHealth found 64% of elementary and middle school kids say their worries center around school. It also found 87% of parents say back-to-school season causes them stress or anxiety, and more than half call it the most stressful time of the year.
"It is a whole family experience and process," Dr. Julie Brackiszewski, the clinical director at Monarch Behavioral Health, said.
Brackiszewski said that anxiety doesn't always look like worry.
"Sometimes kids look nervous and worried. More commonly, they look irritable, disheveled, disorganized, and kind of oppositional when they're anxious too," she said.
Some may even refuse to engage in activities they normally enjoy.
These are changes that Diana, from Detroit, notices when her 5-year-old son is feeling anxious.
"He's usually more irritable. He's a really happy kid," Diana said.
Other warning signs can be physical — like recurring headaches, stomach aches or body aches, especially around school time.
No matter the age, worries are the same — new teachers and academics, friendship and bullying, or the uncertainty of a new school.
Courtney's daughter is making one of those big transitions, going from middle school to high school.
"I asked her every day how did she feel about high school coming up? Because it's coming in and it is a it's very different from middle school," Courtney said.
But there's another part of helping that can be hard for parents...don't rush to make the anxiety disappear.
"To sit in the ick and not jump straight to problem solving. It actually helps your kiddo tolerate the distress and move through the coping strategies," Brackiszewski said.
That means acknowledging the fear before trying to fix it. Telling a child "you were fine last year" may be well-intentioned, but Brackiszewski said it can make them feel dismissed or unheard.
Instead, she suggests the three Cs: Catch it, check it, change it. Name the feeling, examine the fear, then help your child see the bigger picture, including times they've faced something similar and made it through.
You don't have to leave everything unknown, either. Visit the school, go to orientation. For older kids, walk their class schedule.
Brackiszewski said experiencing the sights, sounds and even smell of the school ahead of time can make the unknown feel more predictable.
There's one more thing families can starting doing now: Resetting sleep schedules.
According to the Sleep Foundation, a lack of sleep can ramp up brain activity in areas handling fear and worry, making next-day anxiety much worse.
Brackiszewski said it can take children one to two weeks to adjust to their school sleep cycle. She suggests gradually moving bedtime and wake-up time earlier, even in 15-minute increments to help them adjust.
But if the anxiety is interfering with sleep, eating, daily activities or school attendance, it may be time to speak with a pediatrician or mental health profession.
